NFL Fines the Browns for Texting & Falcons for Noise

If you want to text while you’re watching a football game then you might not want to be the General Manager of the Cleveland Browns (not that you’d want to be, anyway). The NFL finally …

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If you want to text while you’re watching a football game then you might not want to be the General Manager of the Cleveland Browns (not that you’d want to be, anyway).

The NFL finally – after what feels like 87 years of waiting – uncovered that Ray Farmer, Cleveland Browns GM, was guilty of texting the Browns’ sideline while in his game day suite. The Browns organization was find $250,000 and Ray Farmer will be suspended for the first four games, without pay.

Additionally, the Atlanta Falcons were found guilty of the ultimate sign of sadness; pumping additional crowd noise into their stadium (the incomparable Georgia Dome) for the last two seasons.

Atlanta was fined $350,000 and the franchise will forfeit their fifth-round selection in the 2016 NFL Draft. Rich McKay, team president, will also be suspended for three months beginning April 1st …April’s Fool indeed, Rich.

Let’s pick apart this Browns thing first.

$250,000 is a hefty sum of money. Do you know how many chicken sandwiches that could net you at Wendy’s? Beyond that, what strikes me about it is that it is the exact same fine that the NFL imposed on the Patriots for the Spygate scandal back in 2007.

I find it difficult to believe that texting from your press box and trying to gain an unfair advantage are transgressions worth the same punishment, but that’s just me (and all of you, right?). Ray Farmer is to be suspended for 25% of the Browns season, how is this team supposed to have any feelings of positivity heading towards the year? Their starting quarterback, Johnny Manziel, has a litany of issues that he’s dealing with… among which that he might not even be good enough to be their starter! For the Browns!

Now their GM is going to be gone… you better hope LeBron can bring you enough happiness to last for a while, Cleveland.

Oh and also… HOW DID IT TAKE THE NFL THIS LONG TO FIGURE THIS OUT? It is 2015. We have watches that can read my mind and shave my face or whatever. How did it take the NFL, one of the most elite organizations in the world, this long to uncover that a text message was in fact sent?

The Falcons are adorable. Seriously.

I went to the 2013 Chik-Fil-A Bowl at the Georgia Dome with my best friends. It was Johnny Manziel’s last game as a Fightin’ Texas Aggie against the Duke Blue Devils. It was plenty loud then.

The Georgia Dome also plays host to the SEC Championship Game every year, and it’s plenty loud then. When the Atlanta Falcons, the stadium’s home team and a professional sports franchise, play there it is so quiet that they literally have to pump in noise to make it louder? For real? I mean how can the Atlanta Falcons not generate enough crowd noise during a regulation NFL game, don’t boos count?

Good luck, Falcons.

The $350k fine and fifth-round pick loss are nothing compared to that shame.