7 months ago we all saw confetti rain down on the New England Patriots as they celebrated their victory in Super Bowl XLIX. We’ve all seen a Facebook status or two that reads, usually accompanied by some emojis, “You have to get through the rain to see the rainbow.”
Well if you consider the wrath of Roger Goodell, the NFL, and everyone not named Giselle Bundewhatever a rainbow then have yourself a day.
In all seriousness the Patriots are still the champions of the world, a title that they earned 10 years before any deflating happened in 2014. That’s right, the 2004 New England Patriots were also touted as the world’s best as they out-dueled the regurgitation of Donovan McNabb in Super Bowl XXXIX.
The 2004 Pats squad won their third Super Bowl in four years – establishing themselves as a dynasty. You’d think that when you win 3/4 titles, you’d have an idea on what’s cool and what isn’t… right? Take a look at the hardware that Kraft and Co. deflated down to Super Bowl Ring #44 on our list.
Super Bowl Ring #44: 2004 New England Patriots
I’m a pretty tough dude. Nah, not really. But am I the only one that thinks this thing would be painful to wear? If you move your hand the wrong way you’re going to poke right through down to the bone!
I’m also not a fan of all three Lombardi Trophies on it. I get it, they won three in four years so it’s kind of cool, but not every single player on the 2004 team was a part of the other two championships. I’m just looking out for the Kevin Kaspers of the world here.
Establishing yourself as an NFL dynasty is a pretty serious thing, but so is being accused of cheating during in it. The 2007 Patriots Spygate Scandal had accusations that went all the way back through all of their championship runs, so that also tarnishes this ring a bit.
I just can’t get over the weird bulges at the top and bottom. This thing could be used as a weapon! Also the “World” and “Champions” on the side look like they were drawn on with one of those glittery markers I used in Mrs. Henderson’s 2nd grade class.
#44: Barf Bag/Ring
Donovan McNabb may have been the one that threw up during the Super Bowl game, but the Patriots are the ones who threw up in the jeweler when they designed this thing. Their team was really great, but this ring just doesn’t do it for me. They did do one amazing thing with this particular Super Bowl victory. They won their Super Bowl in Jacksonville, proving that someone can win a football game in that stadium.
If you come back next Wednesday I promise to have candy. Super Bowl Ring #43 shaped candy!