With hope for the playoffs all but gone for the Cowboys, the trolls and dung beetles have returned to remind us all of our 3-8 record. The one thing that they fail to remember is that one should look into the mirror to make sure their Ducks are in a row before talking shit.
The day was January 16, 2013. The NFL was put on DefCon two.
The genius had arrived, when the Philadelphia Eagles hired none other than mastermind Chip Kelly. He arrived in style and let his presence be known.
Our fine, friendly feathered fans from the Northeast were completely engulfed in joy. They let every other NFL fan know that they were indeed preparing to take over the world.
The Eagles are running the Chip Kelly experiment. They didn’t bring him in to conform to NFL traditions. They hired him to disrupt them.
Chip Kelly is going to turn my Eagles around! He hired a sports science coach that was a navy Neal trainer! Our boys will be in shape!
Pretty sure he meant Navy Seal but…Detroit has Jim Bob Cooter, so maybe the mystery man behind the Eagles trainers curtain is actually Neal-Dough Baggins. Anyway, let’s continue.
To give credit where credit is deserved, in 2013, Kelly led the Eagles to a 10-6 record, and the NFC East Division title. He followed up with an identical 10-6 record in 2014 only to finish second to the Cowboys.
Jumping forward to January 2nd, 2015, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie took to the podium to announce that not only was the world indeed flat but that the mastermind Chip would now take over as head of football operations. He wasted no time reconstructing the Eagles roster.
Busy offseason for Eagles: * Trade LeSean McCoy * Trade Nick Foles * Sign DeMarco Murray * Sign Tim Tebow
Not to mention, releasing anyone and everyone that refused to do as Chip instructed, and signing numerous free agents to ultimately build dream team 2015.
So with things assembled perfectly in place, Kelly in full control, the Eagles have managed to go a dismal 4-7 while managing to keep the Philly faithful overjoyed.
Parts of the Eagles that suck: Secondary O-Line Murray Recievers Whoever is in at QB Sturgis But at least we get plays off quick!!!
Beginning to come to terms with the fact that the eagles suck
While we as Cowboys fans are experiencing the agony of a ruthless and utterly disappointing season, there’s one thing that we all can agree to say, and it’s “Don’t worry Eagles fans, we got your back.”
I’m fairly confident that come 2016, you will all be on your way to your second straight PRE-SEASON Super Bowl Victory, along with racking up all the PRE-SEASON MVP Honors.
Once again, congratulations!! And PLEASE sign Mastermind Chip to at least a 5-year extension. Hell, everyone here @CowboysNation will throw in a dollar if you will guarantee it for life.