Rare are the moments when I get the idea for an article and can’t put a mental bookmark on it for later. These are the breaths of fresh air that cause me to run straight to my Macbook and put these thoughts somewhere safe.
It was actually during a run, on a treadmill to be specific, that my latest form of “inspiration” hit. When getting my daily dose of cardio I like to put on some high-quality jams, who doesn’t for what it’s worth, and my taste is a bit… unique.
When this song came on I immediately kicked it up several notches and pulled the notes app on my iPhone out so that I wouldn’t forget what I had going on in my head, which was a new potential nickname for the Dallas Cowboys Offensive Line.
Music video by ‘N Sync performing Space Cowboy (Yippie Yi Yay). (C) 2000 Zomba Recording LLC
The Space Cowboys
Nicknames are so important in sports these days. People want to identify a player or group of players with an iconic brand that makes them theirs forever. The Space Cowboys are our guys, our Offensive Line.
Why is that, exactly? The Cowboys part is obvious, but it’s the space that’s important here… especially to our new star Running Back – Ezekiel Elliott.
This classic song says that “up in outer space there’s no gravity to fall,” and that space will undoubtedly hold true for young Ezekiel. The “outer” rim of it is simply the second level of the defense… which his star-studded O-Line, the Space Cowboys, will get him to very easily come Sundays this fall.
Elliott has his rocket hitched to these Space Cowboys, and they’re going to have him saying “why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay” all over the gridiron. NSync urges us that “if you wanna fly, take a space ride with the Cowboys.”
Seriously, think about the Offensive Line. What’s the one thing that they create on a constant basis? It’s space! They’re the Space Cowboys!
Zeke is indeed going to fly, with the Space Cowboys. Straight into the endzone.
Who Are The Other “Space Cowboys”?
Now that we have things all settled when it comes to the Offensive Line being the Space Cowboys, we can’t let them be alone!
If the ‘Boys up front are going to be out in orbit we need to give their counterparts corresponding nicknames so that everything makes sense. It is Friday after all so we’re feeling good, right?
Here are some potential other orbital outlaws that come to mind.
Mark Watney aka The Martian: Tony Romo
The most resourceful person in the history of Mars, an entire planet, is Mark Watney from the great novel/film The Martian.
Thanks to a horrific set of circumstances Watney is left completely alone on Mars and fights against all odds to grow his own crops and survive before ultimately, spoiler alert, being rescued by his comrades that initially (accidentally) abandoned him.
In his tenure as the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, Tony Romo has had to make do in a similar set of circumstances. There was a time when Tony didn’t have the Space Cowboys blocking for him or when he had one of the worst defenses in NFL History. He survived, and so did we, to the point we’re at now. A glorious point.
Han Solo: Dez Bryant
Perhaps the most wild personality in the galaxy is Han Solo. We all know, and should acknowledge, that he shot first… and if there’s anyone who is willing to shoot first it is Dez Bryant.
Dez is Dez and will Dez as much as Dez can. The football field is his playground and his Jumpman kicks are his Millenium Falcon. In moments of crisis we know that Dez can, and will, deliver in epic fashion.
Oh and for bonus points we’ll count Terrance Williams as Chewbacca.
Spock: Jason Witten
Perhaps the wisest person to ever live in space is Spock… er, I mean Jason Witten.
Witten is arguably Vulcan when you consider his longevity and sustained success. There really isn’t any other explanation that makes sense.
It seems that Spock is at the center of anything important to the Star Trek series and the same could very well be said of Jason Witten. When you consider the iconic moments in this most recent era of Dallas Cowboys History you’d be hard pressed to find one that doesn’t include Jason.
Yoda: Cole Beasley
Underestimate Yoda, you should not.
The small stature of the Jedi Master is something that leads to a ton of incorrect assumptions by members of the Sith all the time. Sith loyalist Giants, Redskins, and Eagles all make that same judgment when it comes to Cole Beasley.
Beasley’s small size is his Force, and his quick feet are his lightsaber. His never-quit attitude is what makes him stand taller than the rest, similar to his Space Cowboy counterpart.