Hello, Victory Monday. I missed you more than you'll ever know.
The Dallas Cowboys went down to Miami and secured a win yesterday. It was the first step on a thin line that they'll have to tread in order to win the NFC East, but today is about celebration not speculation!
Right now we're channeling the good vibes all around: it's Victory Monday, Thanksgiving is in three days, my Christmas music playlist is ready to go… life is beautiful! Let's spice things up and have some fun. Here are my 5 Awards from Sunday:
Star Wars Franchise Award
The empire (all of Cowboys haters) has never acknowledged just how strong the force is with Romo. His jedi mind tricks far transcend Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Luke, Yoda… he is the greatest Jedi of them all.
Star Wars is arguably the most successful film franchise of all-time. The last movie of the epic series (Episode III) debuted in 2005. That was the last season that the Dallas Cowboys played without Tony Romo.
George Lucas figured that even in a galaxy far far away… Tony Romo is the man. Star Wars: Episode VII premieres December 18th after their long hiatus. Just like Tony Romo's return against the Dolphins yesterday it's sure to be something special.
Rolando McClain Fan Club President Award
The votes are in and let's send out a huge congratulations to Ryan Tannehill!
I'll always have a lot of respect for Tannehill because he's transitioned from wide receiver to quarterback and that's difficult to do. I'll always have love for Tannehill though because he gift wrapped an early Christmas present and sent it right into the arms of Rolando McClain on Sunday!
Seriously… what was Tannehill, the supposed “Mannehill”, thinking? The whole reason they make players wear jerseys is so that you can identify the ones that you're supposed to throw to, Ryan. But whatever. Do you.
Maybe Tannehill has been confused by all of the Color Rush stuff going on? Maybe he just hates winning?
Either way kudos to the President of the Rolando McClain Fan Club… Ryan Tannehill!
Michael's Secret Stuff Award
If you have never seen the movie Space Jam then throw whatever you're reading this on away and go see it RIGHT NOW.
Let me give you the sparknotes version.
Michael Jordan is on a basketball team with Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and all of the Looney Tunes. They're up against a team of all-stars. Monstars to be exact.
At halftime of the big game the Jordan-led squad is feeling pretty dejected. Bugs Bunny, in his infinite wisdom, pulls the ol psychological card on them.
He throws water into a a bottle and writes “Michael's Secret Stuff” on it. He tells the team that this is Michael's key to success and that it'll make them all play better. It gives them confidence and SHE-BAM! Victory!
It would seem that the 2015 Dallas Cowboys took a swig of that juice on Sunday when they saw Tony Romo return to the starting quarterback position. Congratulations to them for winning this prestigious award!
They Are Who We Thought They Were Award
Remember how many people were all aboard the Chip Kelly “genius” bandwagon a few years ago?
How about how many people applauded his attempts at roster reconstruction?
Not even all of the smoothies in the world are enough to make this team good. Consider that this Eagles team has scored under 20 points four times this year… after having done it four times throughout all of Chip's first two years.
You don't need to look farther than the fact that this team just got blown out 45-17 to the TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS to know just how terrible they are. The Bucs!
I took a lot of heat on Twitter last week when I wrote here that the Cowboys Defense didn't do enough against the Bucs… and that was with only 10 points allowed. 45 points? Chip… dude.
The Eagles are who we have always known them to be. A bunch of misfits who somehow manage to figure out how to put pants on in the morning. They're not capable of figuring out much else.
Let It Go Award
Do you want to build a snowman?
No you don't. It's Thanksgiving week.
If you read that line to the tune of some music then chances are you're a fan of the hit Disney movie Frozen. I know you've heard of it – don't lie.
Part of the phenomenon surrounding Elsa, Anna, Olaf, and the gang was the chart-topping song that Idina Menzel belted out titled, “Let It Go”.
That song debuted November 25th, 2013. So almost two years ago today.
Any misguided NFL fan will be singing this song today:
One year ago today…this happened pic.twitter.com/0HMyJeK49a
— NFL Total Access (@NFLTotalAccess) November 23, 2015
Let. It. Go.