2024 Cowboys’ season prediction has Cowboys Nation laughing in disbelief

By the time you read this, the Dallas Cowboys will have already taken a flight out of Texas, heading to Oxnard, California for training camp. It has been a long and exhausting offseason filled with angst and frustration from a fanbase that only wants to see team success, but instead must watch each season end in heartbreak.

Each time we think that there is nothing and no one that can stop the Cowboys from returning to Super Bowl glory, we are once again slapped in the face by an unexpected opponent.

In 2007, as a heavy underdog, the lowly New York Giants shocked the world by stifling Tony Romo and the Cowboys’ historic offense. Seven years later, the Packers narrowly escaped Dez Bryant’s “catch.”

Just two years after that, Aaron Rodgers and the Packers stopped Dak Prescott’s and Ezekiel Elliott’s rookie year party on that infamous 3rd-&-20 play.

Another home playoff game in 2021 versus San Francisco was the start of a one-sided rivalry.

The latest heartbreak came again at the hands of the Packers. This time, behind the arm of Jordan Love.

It appears USA Today has taken that last game played by the Cowboys as law, resulting in one of the most insulting season predictions in recent memory. The 2024 Cowboys’ season prediction should make Cowboys Nation laugh in disbelief.

As you can see in the graphic, USA Today Sports has the Cowboys completely missing the playoffs with a losing record.

Excuse me while I obnoxiously chuckle as I sip my morning coffee.

The hate for the Dallas Cowboys gets more ridiculous by the day. Let’s analyze these absurd 2024 season predictions and try to decipher how the Cowboys only win eight games.

Dallas Cowboys

Season Prediction: 8-9, T-8th in NFC

The face in the image above says it all. In what world does this Dallas Cowboys team finish the 2024 season with a losing record? Looking over the schedule, I can’t envision a scenario where they don’t win 10 games.

Ten games is the threshold for me, with a ceiling at or above 12 wins for the fourth consecutive season.

USA Today didn’t go as far as telling us which games the Cowboys will win or lose, but let’s try to decipher their thinking here.

I imagine that four of those eight wins will be against division rivals, the Washington Commanders and New York Giants. Washington will likely throw rookie QB Jayden Daniels into the fire and New York brings back an inept Daniel Jones and an offense without Saquon Barkley.

In what seems like an annual practice, Dallas will split the season series with the Philadelphia Eagles for their fifth win. That leaves just three more wins to choose from between the following teams:

Cleveland Browns

New Orleans Saints

Baltimore Ravens

Pittsburgh Steelers

Detroit Lions

San Francisco 49ers

Atlanta Falcons

Houston Texans

Cincinnati Bengals

Carolina Panthers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I must admit, the schedule seems daunting, but only three wins out of that list of 11 teams?

I’m running out of adjectives to describe how absurd that prediction is. We need more context.

Did they predict a major injury?

A coaching change in the middle of the season?

Referencing the article attached to the graphic above, we get some context from the author, Nate Davis.

Davis’ reasons for the Cowboys missing the playoffs are as follows:

HC Mike McCarthy, QB Dak Prescott, and WR CeeDee Lamb are currently scheduled to enter a lame-duck campaign (final year of their contracts)

The Cowboys were depleted by free agency

New DC Mike Zimmer won’t be able to sustain an opportunistic defense

McCarthy must prove the offense is more than just an aerial show

A brutal four-game stretch (at SF, at ATL, vs PHI, vs HOU) after the week 7 bye

Lingering off-field distractions

USA Today’s Full NFL Season Predictions

Unfortunately, the disrespect to the Dallas Cowboys doesn’t just end the season before it’s played. The rest of the NFL season still needs to play out and USA Today had full predictions for the rest of the teams as well.

They seeded the NFC as follows:

San Francisco 49ers (13-4)

Green Bay Packers (13-4)

Philadelphia Eagles (10-7)

Atlanta Falcons (9-8)

Detroit Lions (11-6)

Los Angeles Rams (10-7)

Chicago Bears (9-8)

Your eyes aren’t fooling you.

Yes, the Chicago Bears, led by rookie QB Caleb Williams, will make the playoffs over the Dallas Cowboys. As soon as I saw that in the graphic, I should have just closed my laptop and walked away.

Davis must have really liked what he saw from Jordan Love and the Packers because he predicted them to overtake the top-seeded 49ers and reach the Super Bowl.

However, Davis must also be smoking ayahuasca because he has Aaron Rodgers leading the Jets to the promised land for their first Super Bowl victory since Joe Namath guaranteed it back in 1969.

I know we probably shouldn’t put too much stock in a season prediction made in July, but the amount of disrespect for my favorite team irks me.

No, the Cowboys will not finish 8-9.

No, the Cowboys will not miss the playoffs.

They have been too successful recently for that type of failure, especially since they are still bringing back most of the team that finished with 12 wins in three consecutive seasons.

All this prediction did was make me want to make my own season prediction that is more realistic than the fantasy land the USA Today lives in. Stay tuned.