It’s Father’s Day, and there’s one man who deserves a special shoutout from every locker room in the NFC East: Dak Prescott.
That’s right, since stepping onto the scene in 2016, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback has absolutely fathered the Giants, Commanders, and Eagles with a level of consistency that borders on disrespectful.
At this point, the rest of the division might as well send him a tie and a mug that says “#1 Dad.”
Let’s run down the resume.
Prescott is 31-10 against NFC East opponents in his career. That’s not just good, that’s “you better text him Happy Father’s Day before breakfast” good.
He’s the guy who shows up uninvited to family gatherings, eats everyone’s food, and still leaves with all the leftovers.
Giant Feast
Against the New York Giants, Dak has been nothing short of cruel.
A 12-2 record? That’s not a rivalry.
It’s a long-running sitcom where the punchline is always “Prescott wins.”
Giants fans know the drill: fall behind early, make false hope comebacks, and watch Dak throw another game-sealing touchdown like he’s clocking in at work.
In Command
As for the Washington Commanders, he’s treated them like a tax write-off. A 10-2 record means he owns more real estate in D.C. than most lobbyists.
It hasn’t mattered who they throw under center or which coach is wearing the headset, Prescott finds the end zone, gives a polite nod, and gets ready for dinner.
Cry Eagles Cry
The Philadelphia Eagles have put up the biggest fight, but even they can’t escape the paternal grip.
Dak is 9-6 against Philly and has made Lincoln Financial Field feel more like a family reunion where he’s the favorite son.
Every time the Eagles get close to flipping the script, Prescott drops a perfect pass over the middle and reminds them whose name is on the birth certificate.
Look, Dak may not have a Super Bowl ring (yet), but when it comes to the NFC East, he’s got custody.
So on this Father’s Day, the message is simple: Call your dad.
And for the Giants, Commanders, and Eagles, that means picking up the phone and wishing Dak Prescott a Happy Father’s Day.
He earned it.
All jokes aside, I hope every dad out there has a Happy Father’s Day.
May your New Balances be extra white, may your beer be freezing cold, and may your barbecue come out better than ever.
No matter what Prescott throws on the grill today, if the Giants, Commanders, and Eagles show up, you better believe he will be serving them a heaping pile of Ls.
